If you are experiencing sickness and ready to let it go, read this.


Mar 15, 2017


This message below was posted yesterday in the 40-Day Program private Facebook group.

I received permission to repost it here as a blog, which I am extremely grateful for. It’s one of the clearest messages I have received about someone seeing what they have used sickness for – and how that use is no longer needed. I have posted the message without the person’s name because of the personal details.

If you are experiencing “sickness” in your life (I love that she put the word “sickness” in parentheses!) then consider what you are using the sickness for. Often we are “sick” because as children we learned it’s a great protective device to keep us safe and to get love and attention. It makes us special. It’s gives us a fast way to bond with others as we share stories of symptoms and compassion. But now as adults, we can LOOK AGAIN and you can see that you don’t need sickness anymore. It literally serves NO purpose. If you don’t want to do something that is being asked of you, you can kindly and politely say “no thank”. If you need love or attention or prayers or kindness, you can ask for it!

You don’t need to get sick anymore. You can bypass it and ask for things directly. You don’t need sickness to get out of working a job you don’t like. You can take a day off or you can quit. 

Disease = Disturbance.

All disease is in the mind, it’s a result (an effect) of a disturbance when you went slightly off track as a child of God. You are whole, innocent and perfect. Always have been and always will. But somewhere along the line, we were taught that we were bodies and that the world wasn’t a safe place. We were taught how to behave, how to be good, and we learned that if you got sick, you don’t have to go to school! You can stay home and your mom will give you soup and love and attention. And boom! A disturbance in the system! 

f this disturbance goes unchecked (and uncorrected) for too long, it shows up as sickness. And yes, it appears very real! But you have the power to stop anything in its track by your own decision and change direction. 

This letter is a great example of choosing a new life, showing up authentically and honestly. 

Here you go! 

Hi Lisa,

Last night I had a little epiphany about my current “sickness” and long term injuries/sickness in my life. It came to me that if I am sick I have an excuse and a way out of being totally responsible for myself, my thoughts, my life.

A few days ago I was invited to help a friend’s family do some hard labor over the weekend and I immediately felt like I didn’t want to and I also felt like I didn’t have a good excuse why I wouldn’t be of service in that way. So I messaged her and said I haven’t been feeling well off and on so I most likely won’t make it. It was so convenient that I have been feeling sick off and on. I didn’t really have to lie or anything. But afterwards that communication didn’t feel very good or authentic. I wasn’t truly honest. I could have said thank you for inviting me, but I feel it’s for my greatest good not to come, I send you blessings for this wonderful event.

Then it hit me that when I was young, when my dad and my mom would be angry with me or physically abusive, it seemed to work if I cried and got mad at myself before they could. They had a harder time taking it out on me if I was already damaged. It seemed to cut through their anger just enough to pull at their heart and lessen the attack. Who is going to attack someone that is already bleeding and dysfunctional? I have watched them be so kind and loving and helpful to those that don’t seem to be capable of helping themselves.

My ego mind tells me I will disappear, fade out into the background of life, be neglected, be open to attack, if there is nothing that sets me apart from others. The ego uses sickness for uniqueness and for attention and fulfillment.

This weekend I really was feeling fantastic. On Sunday, I went to my family’s church to pick up my sister and take her home and the pastor there asked me, “So how is _____?” I said “great” without giving it too much thought- to my own surprise it just came out. Then he asked me again a couple of minutes later, like he forgot he asked me before. I said, “great” again, but slightly less enthusiastically, like- do I really mean it? Should I downgrade it to good? Then I have wiggle room in case I need it later. What if I say “great” and then things go south? Who will help me? I’ll only be judged for changing my mind so quickly…

So this is all the stuff coming up for me around “sickness.” I’ve definitely used it as a defense, an excuse, a way to get special love and attention, a way to stay small, to keep being a person and a body.

I have used sickness as a way to join falsely with others that also seem sick so we can feel sorry for each other, share in our mutual suffering and see others as the have’s and us as the have-not’s. I’ve used sickness as a way to keep from opening my heart and seeing the truth within me. I’ve used it as a way to not communicate honestly. I have just been afraid to let the real me out!

Thank you so much for listening. And by the way, I feel great today because I’m letting this go and I am GREAT-FULL that the shady tricks of my ego mind are being exposed. I am choosing love and health and real love from now onward! I’m giving love a chance to show me that it’s more than I could ever conceive or dream of. I love you all!

I love this letter. I hope it inspires you to look at your own life in a new way if you have been struggling. 

If you are interested in joining the 40-Day Program (and getting into the private 40-Day FB page), it’s FREE and ONLINE. Click here for information and to register:

Now, it’s your turn! Do you find yourself not wanting to do things and using situations in your life (sickness, tired, pain) to get out of them? What about when you were a child … can you remember when the disturbance first began to occur? When you realized that you could “manipulate” things slightly to get attention, love, a day off? I would love to hear from you. Post your comments below! 


16 Responses to “If you are experiencing sickness and ready to let it go, read this.”

  1. Lisa Bandler says:

    Thank you so much for this gem of a post! This really was helpful in exhuming hidden beliefs in my mind. I did not realize that my child and adult used sickness to assuage guilt and to use it as a cover. So clever of the ego!!!

  2. Hekla Hekla says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this post.
    So clear and honest. And that it is so helpfull to others… from reading this I realised why I had a strain in my ancle the day before my youngest moved away from home. Now on my own, I obviosly needed to know, “Now let me see who will be there for me now, if I need help” ?
    I was really surprised with how this strain occured, since it happened out of the blue. I hardly moved and bang. The doctor saidm such a strain was impossible without a real twist of the food. But no twist occured. I just sat down slowly to pick up something from the floor. Well now it is CLEAR to me, whar really happened. I know its all in the mind, but did not see the connection clearly till now, so thank you once again for sharing Lisa.

  3. Eva hernandez says:

    I loved this letter/post! I have used sickness to my advantage for a long time! It has been an Aha moment for sure… i don’t know how to let it go… although I know I must do it. Having 3 kids and a husband, maybe is my way to say I need a break. How can I really heal? I know with prayer and truth but maybe I’m lacking faith? I now for sure I want to heal and be healthy. Please help!

  4. Julie says:

    Awesome post and thoughts from both of you Lisa!! Yes, our body just shows us what is in our mind that we are suppressing and causing to come out in the physical. Totally agree that we use it rather than just saying no to things. It’s a “good excuse”, but direct communication is much better! We don’t need any excuses or apologies. We can just do what we’re drawn to do and know that if we’re not drawn to, then we’re not meant to so there is nothing to feel guilty about. ?❤️❤️❤️

  5. Melba says:

    Hi Lisa,
    I actually have very good health. What I have held on to is my body being fat. I substituted fat for sick….I do use “fat” to get out of things and to have that “thing” in common with so many…. that we complain, feel sorry for ourselves, constantly try to figure out why and how to fix it. And believe that because I’m fat I will not have to open my self up to a relationship because after all who wants a fat person.?
    What an eye opening letter she wrote! Thank you for Sharing Lisa!

  6. Nina Rahima says:

    Dear Lisa, that is such a radiant post and knowledge of sickness and what creates it. Also, by reading all the comments, I recognize all the lessons we can learn from sickness – the just “being with unpleasantness as it is” is a wonderful practice for me. There are so many ways, they all lead Home for sure 🙂

  7. Donna says:

    First where was that beautiful picture taken on March 15, 2017??? I am covered in snow…3 feet of it in 24 hrs.!!! Enjoyed the letter…and I find the older you get the more you talk about sickness….trying to one up the person who starts it…so going to try to channel conversation to what is working and health and happiness. Thank you Lisa for sharing…you are for sure a guiding light to be followed.


  8. Donna says:

    First where was that beautiful picture taken on March 15, 2017??? I am covered in snow…3 feet of it in 24 hrs.!!! Enjoyed the letter…and I find the older you get the more you talk about sickness….trying to one up the person who starts it…so going to try to channel conversation to what is working and health and happiness. Thank you Lisa for sharing…you are for sure a guiding light to be followed.

  9. Mary says:

    This has been present as long as I can remeber.I was a child very small when my parents divorced. MY sweet, poor parents, had very little as a married couple or growing up.My dad became violent toward my Mother when he consumed alcohol. And I don’t believe either one had basically any resources,other than a very judgemental, angry,manipulative Diety that was to be feared.I am not sure of everything. But in the trauma of the violence, the only time I felt any attention was when I was unwell,scared and that was often.My Mother understood that because of what she had endured.

  10. Wow! Powerful story. Have been using
    Sickness. Time to give it up! ❤

  11. Loretta says:

    Thank you Lisa. This message is so perfect for me today. And I am choosing wholeness and holiness for my life. I am love and light. I am grateful for the reminder. Much ❤️ love , Loretta

  12. Karen says:

    Hi Lisa,
    amazing, thanks for that light. For me too it was slightly different. My
    mother insisted that my sickness meant I would never enjoy normal things,
    Divine love, a job, a family. In fact I had to reflect her idea of sickness,
    hearing loss, blindness, to keep my family or I would be punished. Just
    yesterday I released the very old need to earn my mother’s love by owning
    limitation, realizing that while I might never know her love, I was
    unconditionally loved by other mother figures. Now to transform the body I
    allowed for love of her into the sacred temple of perfection that is my

    so I can connect with others in person.

  13. Jacqueline Orves says:

    Thank you , can I say it was the opposite for me I was not allowed to be ill , I had to go to school when I was feeling sick , and the ego kept me from looking at this Admitting I am sick then with Gods love healing

  14. Linda Marshall says:

    What a brilliant reminder of how vigilant and honest we must be with ourselves to live our true nature. Thank you!

  15. Thank you once again Lisa for sharing. As always this hits the mark. Much Love

  16. Joe Fielder says:

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Love you Lisa! I’m sure this post will change lives….you’ve Wowed the world again!

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