Welcome.

My story, in my words: 

The experience of being sick with chronic pain and physical symptoms is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Because it set me on a journey of inner investigation (about myself, about the world, about true healing and how it happens) that led to unwavering peace, joy, awakening & Self-realization - a journey that I probably would not have taken if I hadn't gotten sick. 

I was born on May 2, 1968 in Presque Isle, Maine - 3 minutes before twin sister Lori. One year later, our sister Leslie arrived. 

Our parents - Debbie & Ron - were young when they had us. My mom, a nurse, was 20 and my dad, a forester & land surveyor, was 21. 

We moved to Tilton, New Hampshire and I spent my childhood and teenage years there which were happy years for me. We didn't have a lot of money and that later became a big part of "my story" and "my pattern" of having to work hard for anything I wanted.

I had a belief that if I wanted something I either had to earn it, save for it or work hard for it. I started babysitting when I was 9 years old to the newborn across the street and I immediately saw that I could have money to buy the things I wanted, but it was trained in me that I had to earn it. And quite often my experience was that even though I worked hard for something, I didn't always get it. 

And that led to coping mechanism of "It's okay. I'm okay. I didn't really want it anyways. I didn't need it. I'm fine. I'm good." and I would put on a happy face and carry on. 

I was interested in books, being in the library, riding my bike, doing cartwheels and gymnastics on the front lawn. I have very happy memories of my childhood and teenage years. We went camping twice a year with friends and neighbors and there trips to the ocean and to the mountains.

I had a lot of friends and was involved with a lot of school activities.

My parents divorced when I was 15 - and by then the coping mechanism was firmly in place: "I'm fine. I'm good. Life doesn't always turn out the way you want. It's okay". 

For much of my life, I had a sense there was something "more" than our 3D physical reality. 

Starting in high school, in the 1980s, I started reading books on self-improvement and "the power of mind" and "the power of positive thinking". That eventually led to books on spirituality, manifestation and transformation. Yet, despite the volume of information I consumed and practices I tried out, I couldn't ever really find a clear-cut description about what awakening is or how it happens.

It always seemed to me that awakening was something mystical that happened to relatively few people, like Jesus or Buddha or the few people that had angelic visits or near-death experiences. 

Somewhere deep down, there was a knowing that everyone could experience unwavering peace, happiness and awakening ... and "do the things Jesus did and more" but I never came across any kind of instruction manual. 

In 1992, while living in NYC, I heard about A Course in Miracles. I got a copy of the book. This seemed to be the instruction manual I was looking for and I devoted my life to the teachings and practices - which had a lot of Christian terminology in it, which I wasn't a big fan of, since I wasn't religious - but I still felt that this book could help me to find what I was looking for.

I was 24 at the time, working in publishing in Manhattan, and I had a pretty good life: a nice sunny apartment in Park Slope Brooklyn, a great relationship, a job that I mostly liked. 

But I had a sense that it could all fall apart anytime - so my life back then was a lot about worrying, trying to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect worker, a good girl, a good person. 

But mostly I was in daily fear of losing the job, losing the apartment, losing the relationship, not having money to pay my bills - and so I drank at night and on weekends, vodka tonics, martinis and wine and then when things did all fall apart - I picked up cigarette smoking on top of the drinking to "calm my nerves and relax". 

I kept reading books in every available free moment, searching for a way to happiness and peace. 

I was left with the common misunderstanding that spiritual growth was about devotion, commitment, hard work, discipline, effort, doing good works. 

My whole life I have always mostly been a joyful person, a people person - a lover of life. I have always loved engaging with the world, seeing new places, trying new things. 

But during all those years before 2018, there was an underlying foundation of doom, conflict, worry, guilt, disappointment. 

Moments of joy - real joy! - followed by doubt, fear, second-guessing myself, wondering what I am doing wrong, wondering why I am always struggling, trying to figure out why I never have money even though I'm a good person and I work hard - all the while smoking cigarettes and drinking vodka. 

It wasn't until years later, through a personal journey of sickness and relentless searching, that I would come to understand the profound truth about myself, others and the world. 

I came to know what awakening really is, how it happens, and it was confirmed that everyone can have this experience. 

There were no angels, no death experience, no seeing guides, beings or light. 

In 2013, I got sick with what I thought was the flu - and was eventually diagnosed as an incurable autoimmune disease.

I tried to heal. I took the medical route, taking antibiotics seeing doctors, taking medicine. I tried the alternative therapy route, the naturopath route. I took vitamins & supplements. Committed to a clean diet, no gluten, no dairy, no sugar, no processed food - then detoxing, drinking green juices. 

All the while I was doubling down on my spiritual practice, to be even more devoted than usual, doing everything I could to love everyone, give all to all, let go of grievances, let go of resentments, be available to be helpful and let God work through me. 

Over a 5-year period, I spent around $30,000 on treatments, remedies, and healing practices which I put on a credit card because I didn't have money and couldn't afford insurance. 

No matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. I just kept getting sicker and sicker and felt that I was dying. 

In 2018, my husband Bill who had been following non-duality teachings and Advaita Vedanta, asked me "can you welcome the pain and symptoms, without trying to change anything?"

THIS WAS THE TURNING POINT FOR ME. 

I started welcoming the pain, welcoming the physical symptoms.

I stopped trying to heal.

It occurred to me that I had been trying to heal for over 5 years, for every single day of those 5 years! 

Feeling sorry about myself, feeling like I'm a failure, constantly wondering why I am sick, wondering how I can heal.

I saw in welcoming that I had been attacking myself, judging myself, bullying myself. 

While "I was trying to heal" for all those years of sickness, I couldn't see how I was attacking myself on a daily basis with self-judgment thoughts, self-criticism, self-loathing. 

2018 was a turning point year for me. I turned 50 that year and I had the realization that I didn't want to spend any more time being a sick person.

It occurred to me that the real sickness was the way I thought about myself, the way I attacked myself with self-hated thoughts.

I had already spent $30,000 with nothing working!

I was tired of "walking on eggshells" with a restrictive diet. I wanted to eat cake, pasta, bread, cheese and enjoy food again.

I was tired of always trying to heal - and I just wanted to live a simple happy life. 

I didn't want to Google symptoms ever again!

I had followed all the rules, practiced all the teachings for decades and I was done with it. 

I was exhausted.

I made a decision: I would be at peace with the pain and symptoms.

I couldn't make the pain and symptoms go away, but I could be at peace. 

THAT WAS A LIGHTBULB MOMENT OF CLARITY.

I realized that it was totally possible to stop judging myself. It was totally possible to stop attacking myself and to notice the thoughts of inner conflict and not engage with those thoughts. 

I didn’t know if I would ever physically heal, but I realized I didn’t have to attack myself anymore.

That was the gift I decided to give myself before my 50th birthday - to stop trying to heal. 

I had this moment where I thought, "If this is the rest of my life, if I’m going to continue being sick, I don’t have to make my life a constant struggle. I don’t have to keep Googling how to heal, or continue the cycle of trying and failing to ‘fix’ myself." It wasn’t about physical healing anymore—it was about accepting my life as it was. It was the first glimmer of awakening, though at the time I didn’t know that’s what it was.

In October 2018, things got worse physically. I had intense pain, and my eyes were burning. I was on the phone with my husband, who was attending a Rupert Spira event, and I expressed my pain and frustration. That’s when he suggested something that would change my life: “Can you welcome it?”

That simple question opened the door to a new understanding. It was the first step in embracing non-duality and the teachings of Rupert Spira, Francis Lucille, Jean Klein, and Atmananda Krishna Menon.

These teachings shifted my focus from trying to escape the body and pain to simply being with it, being the awareness of thoughts, feelings, sensations, stories, habits & patterns, welcoming whatever arose in my experience without resistance.

The message was clear: stop trying to become something or attain something. Instead, investigate what you are not, and in doing so, realize what you truly are - which is pure Consciousness, eternal, Infinite Being, Peace & Happiness. 

The more I welcomed everything—the pain, the emotions, the discomfort—the more I began to understand that awakening is not mystical or special.

It’s simply the awareness of everything happening, without trying to change it.

And slowly, gradually, the pain disappeared - that went first. Then slowly, physical symptoms disappeared. 

I put everything I did and learned over a 10 year period into 3 video courses: The Healing Cure, Mind-Body Mastery and Emotional Mastery. 

The Healing Cure is based a lot on A Course in Miracles and is a good place for anyone with no background in non-duality and just beginning and with no background in spirituality. I created this course to be understandable to anyone. 

The Healing Cure is all the practices I used starting in 2018 when I decided to stop trying to heal. 

For anyone with that is interested in the nature of Consciousness and non-dual teachings, that's Mind-Body Mastery and Emotional Mastery. I created those two courses in 2022.

They are more focused on the understanding that the body is memory in you, which is pure Consciousness. That might be a little advanced for anyone just beginning - but it was the missing key for me! 

Or you can purchase all 3 video courses and have access to all of them, to do them at your pace and to decide which one to go through first. 

All my love to you, 

Lisa